If you live for people’s acceptance you will die from their rejection!
I came across this quote a while back and it struck me how true this really is. I have this trait where I really get tough and serious, when it comes down to getting things done and because of that solemn reason I was being a bit authoritative at that time. Somebody told me afterwards, you’re dominating but then for a reason I know I am not (of course I know myself at least this much to differentiate what I am and what I am not) . I apologized to that person and then I thought of clarifying that thing and it all came down to me why do I want to do that? The answer was really simple because I wanted that person to approve of me. In some ways or the other most of the people love hearing good things about them, in short they love to hear opinions from other which actually shows that they are conscious about what other people might think of them.
This reflects that you’re giving somebody a right to judge you and affect you. As a matter of fact that right should be given to only few people who can be trusted and who knows who you really are..People can only advice you based on their perceptions but it’s up to you to analyze what’s best suited for you. There is this short story about a painter who asks his mentor, after finishing up a painting which was near to perfect for him-What is missing in this painting? His mentor says, go and hang this on a cross road and write down below it-‘What can be done to make this painting perfect?’ The painter does that and then he collects the painting after 1 week with a lot of suggestions written beneath it. He makes the same painting with improvisation of all the suggestion he received. He asks his mentor the same thing and mentor tell him to do the same thing again. It happens for almost 4 weeks and painter keeps on doing the same thing over and over again. The fifth week his mentor ask him to do it in a different way by writing correct the painting to make it perfect instead of asking for suggestions. He was surprised when he went to fetch for the painting as there was no improvisation and the same painting was hanging there. Painter went to mentor and told him about what happened. His mentor told him that you have to always trust your instincts because everybody has got a different perspective and they will always throw that on you but when it comes to improvise the things by themselves they won’t even care.
I won’t say don’t take advice from others but make wise choice in that process. Not all the people will love you and see you the way you’re but there will be few people always who will make this process easy and the transition smooth for you in the long run.